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    Success is Relative

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  • About this Blog

    If you're looking for a blog where people whine, life is boring and our children are the only things of value we have to talk about, this is not the blog for you. BUT...if you want to challenge yourself, put YOU first every now and then and maybe try to change your life in ways you never thought you could then stay and play a while. You'll like it here.

    I'm Kelli and I'm on a 1 year journey to redefine and reclaim SUCCESS. I'm in the middle of a messy battle to get custody of a 14 year old and I'm also 32 weeks pregnant. I'm a wife, a mother, a daughter, a sister, a volunteer and a career woman. I'm also a complete and total mess. But that's OK.

    T.S. Elliot said "Success is relative. It is what we can make of the mess we have made of things".

    So in 365 days I plan to see if Mr. Elliot knew what the heck he was talking about. I have one year to get out of the slump I'm in, to do better than it seems likely I can do and to figure out, once and for all, what success really means and if it's something I can ever achieve.
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We can all treat one another with dignity and respect, provide opportunities to grow toward our fullest lives and help one another discover and develop our unique gifts.  We each deserve this.  Author Unknown

In the last week I  have spoken to 11…yes count it correctly ELEVEN friends all who are in a battle in their lives.  While variations exist in each situation there is one thing that sadly connects them all.  Each friend is dealing with a loved one who does not treat them with dignity.

dig-ni-ty (noun) the state or quality of being worthy of honor or respect.

It seems almost impossible to think that someone can love you yet treat you as though you don’t deserve the same honor and respect as a stranger on the street or a co-worker that they don’t even like.  How could this be? But this post isn’t about why some don’t treat others with dignity.  I’ve got that figured out.  They do it because they are insecure and feel so small that they can only feel better about themselves by pounding others into the ground.  I’ve made a conscious decision to extricate those individuals from my life so…moving on.

My confusion lies in trying to comprehend why on earth someone would allow themselves to be treated as though receiving dignity is somehow asking too much.  Smart, confident, wonderful people who don’t seem to know their own self worth.  They couldn’t or they would know they deserve better.  Not because they did something special to earn it, but simply because basic human dignity is what every person should be entitled to.  But what if you were raised to believe that’s not true?  Well…whoever raised you is an idiot.  Sorry.  The truth hurts.  Wait…calling someone an idiot wasn’t very dignified of me was it?  I jest, but I do mean it.  If you were raised by someone who didn’t teach you to believe in yourself and to demand nothing short of being treated with dignity and respect then I’m truly, from the bottom of my heart, sorry for that.  Life has to have been an uphill battle for you.  If someone has figuratively or literally beaten the self esteem out of you then my heart just breaks.  I wouldn’t have had the courage to walk an inch in your shoes let alone a mile.  And if you’ve never had anyone make you feel that you are worthy of love and honor simply because you are you then your emotional scars will be mine because the thought of that is just unbearable to me.

Today I stand with you, though not in person, at least in spirit to say YOU DESERVE DIGNITY.  If you’ve never had it go get it. If you lost it somewhere along the way go find it.  And if you have no idea where to start looking for it just look in the mirror.  That face looking back at you, with all it’s flaws and imperfections and whatever else you THINK is wrong with you…that image staring back is a perfect depiction of beauty and love.  You deserve dignity just because you are you.  And if anyone ever tells you that’s wrong you tell them Kelli said they’re an idiot.

TODAY’S THINK TANK: What are you worth?  Honor, love, honesty, respect, kindness, fidelity, security, passion, freedom, a life without violence…what?  If you don’t know what your value is how will anyone else know?  Have you allowed someone else to redefine your worth (and in essence) have you given the power of YOU away?  If you have, do whatever it takes to get it back.