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    Success is Relative

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  • About this Blog

    If you're looking for a blog where people whine, life is boring and our children are the only things of value we have to talk about, this is not the blog for you. BUT...if you want to challenge yourself, put YOU first every now and then and maybe try to change your life in ways you never thought you could then stay and play a while. You'll like it here.

    I'm Kelli and I'm on a 1 year journey to redefine and reclaim SUCCESS. I'm in the middle of a messy battle to get custody of a 14 year old and I'm also 32 weeks pregnant. I'm a wife, a mother, a daughter, a sister, a volunteer and a career woman. I'm also a complete and total mess. But that's OK.

    T.S. Elliot said "Success is relative. It is what we can make of the mess we have made of things".

    So in 365 days I plan to see if Mr. Elliot knew what the heck he was talking about. I have one year to get out of the slump I'm in, to do better than it seems likely I can do and to figure out, once and for all, what success really means and if it's something I can ever achieve.
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Because it’s been over 2 months since my last post I’m not going to delude myself into thinking I’m gonna post tomorrow so here it goes…FearLESS Thursday.  Enjoy!

Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear, not the absence of fear. Mark Twain

Small Baby is 15 months old and he started swimming lessons this week.  No I’m not trying to turn him into the next Phelps, but I don’t want what happened to me to happen to him.

When I was in high school someone didn’t believe me when I said I didn’t know how to swim.  I guess she thought I was just another black girl making excuses for not wanting to get my hair wet (if you don’t have any black friends and don’t know what I’m talking about I’ll explain it some other time).  Anyway…we were at a summer party and she pushed me into the deep end of the pool.

I freaked.  I screamed. I panicked.

No one came to  help me.

They all thought I was joking and that my aquatic gyrations were for comedic affect.  I was so afraid..completely paralyzed by fear.  Moments later my best friend came walking out of the house holding a bag of Cheetos.  I can still picture so clearly thinking “screw the Cheetos Jen I’m drowning”, but I couldn’t get the words out.  My best friend knew me so well that I didn’t need to say a word.  Her eyes flashed wide, the Cheetos fell to the ground and she jumped in. The funny thing is…she BARELY knew how to swim herself, but in that moment she feared LESS.  Of course she was afraid, but since my fear had gotten the best of me Jen knew her fear needed to be LESS.  Not nonexistent.  Just LESS.

In my opinion there is no such thing in life as the absence of fear.  Mark Twain will be happy to know that I approve of his quote.  Fear will always exist, but as I see it we have two options.  We can either learn how to face fear or  we can pitifully be frozen by it.

The last time I was frozen was August 1986 in that pool.  I’ve been scared of many MANY things since that day, but never again frozen.

They say less is more.  Whoever they is got it right.  When it comes to fear…less is truly more.  So today don’t try to be fearless just try to FEAR a little LESS.

TODAY’S THINK TANK: Pick one thing you’re afraid of doing and do it anyway.  What is it?  Applying for a new job, asking for a raise, standing up to or for someone, sharing your faith, saying no to your child, saying no to your parents, telling someone how you really feel, admitting the truth about something, getting on the scale?  Whatever it is go ahead and let it scare you, but do it anyway.  Jump in the pool like my friend Jen did.  Your fearlessness might save someones life…and it just might be your own.